Ranking Our 2021 Cat Calendar (Yes, Really)

Goodbye 2021; you were an interesting year filled with new routines, uncertainties, and a lot of funny cats. Wait, cats?! That’s right! At Helix House, we like to have some fun. Once we started working from the office again, our copywriter Casey Watts decided she needed to bring along a little organizational tool from home: her 2021 cat calendar called “Cranky Cats” from Avanti.For the six months we were back, we enjoyed the presence of each silly cat every month and decided to pay homage to them by ranking our favorites, from funny to funniest. Yes, that’s the blog topic. It’s the end of our year, so we thought we’d leave you with something to smile about.

Last Place, But Still Funny: September

We’ll start with September, a lovely cat to be sure, but Chonk (all of the cats were named by our former project manager Alex Mayes) is decidedly the least cute of them all for one reason only: he doesn’t have a good theme. He’s just a fat cat who made a poor decision and got stuck in a doggy door. What does that have to do with September? Perhaps it’s a metaphor for children who dread going back to school, so they took the worst possible route to leave the house? The world may never know.

Second ‘Worst’ Cat: July

Ah Peanut, you are a good cat, but a cliche one. Every cat owner knows that boxes are the best cat trap, and you are no exception to this rule. You’re adorable and posed perfectly, but even the packing peanuts can’t cover your shame of picking a cliche pose and hoping you’ll go viral. Sorry, Peanut, but it just doesn’t work that way.

Third ‘Lacking’ Cat: November

We get it, Gus, you ate too much on Thanksgiving and now you can’t get back into your pants. You earned extra points for your expression, but lost points because you have no self-control. That tuna casserole was meant to be shared!

Onto the Mediocre Bunch: January

Fudge clearly told himself he was going to get fit in 2021. Look at his weights, he’s working out right? Well, we think his new year’s resolution fell a little flat this year, judging by how he is lounging in the sun instead of hitting the gym. But hey, at least you have your coffee, and you look cute while trying, Fudge!

The Almost Middle Place: October

Don't’ get us wrong, we love Halloween just as much as the next cat — I mean person — but poor Nub is struck by the same issue that placed Gus (November) so low. You’re just cliche! It’s expected, you know. Throw in a little spookiness and maybe you would have ranked higher. Though we did add some extra points for your set design — the lounging chair, your tongue blep, and your pumpkin basket are perfect!

The Middle Best: June

Can you say fabulous? Zha Zha really brought her all to this photoshoot and embraced her flair for drama. Unfortunately, she was overshadowed by the other cats on this list. It was hard to put you this low, Zha Zha, so please forgive us! You’re still one of the most fabulous cats in this calendar, so keep your head up! (After all, we don’t know if you’ll be able to pick it up again with how heavy that headpiece looks!)

Rounding Out Sixth Is: April

Edgar, you tried your best, but you just didn’t succeed. Bonus points for the ears and eggs, though. Truthfully, we only ranked you this high because we know how hard it is for a cat to swallow your pride and celebrate a rabbit and whatever bird laid those eggs. It must have been so hard for you, so take sixth place out of pity. Next time, though, show more toe beans, please.

Fifth Place Goes To…March!

Priscillia, darling, are beautiful. Your fur is exquisitely brushed, and your hat is the most extravagant thing we’ve seen this year. We would love to rank you higher, we really would, but the effort just isn’t there. It looks like you put on your Sunday best, and while we’re loving it, it’s just not as creative as it could be. Extra points for your face though, you’re really selling your love of spring allergies.

The Runner Up: August

Puff, we’ve all been there. Thank you for being so brave and showing that even the best of cats can be overcome with their love of cheesy puffs. You have truly shown that there is no shame in eating an entire bag of chips in one sitting and enjoying yourself throughout the process. There should be no guilt with eating what you love. Thank you, Puff, for diving into that bag and teaching us the true meaning of enjoying your food.

Third Place: December

The poise. The box. The expression! Butterbean, you’ve perfectly captured the holiday spirit in your photo, and we can’t even imagine how much your legs must hurt from standing there for so long! Your effort is commendable, my dear. You deserve to enjoy that wine behind you!

A Silver Medal For: February

Now this cat knows how to have fun! Beads, you have shown incredible self-restraint to not play with all of the beads around you — or perhaps that’s how you became entangled in the first place? Regardless, you have earned this silver medal, our playful friend! Party on and have fun!

And the Winner Is….May!

We can only say one thing about our first place winner for cutest cat of 2021: he’s got a mustache. Tug, teach us your secrets. It looks amazing. Tug earned top points for his theming and dedication to the playing the part. His expression, his hat, his mustache, and the old Western town behind him had us believing that he really was the sheriff around these parts. Criminals better watch out; we hear the sheriff’s got claws.

In all seriousness though, we at Helix House wanted to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone who helped make 2021 a great year. Without all of you, we wouldn’t be able to go fun stuff like this or enjoy ourselves every day we come into work. So, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Let’s make 2022 even better!